Why Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Was the Best and Worst Thing to Happen to Me

Hi, my name is Emma. I'm a 47-year-old single mum with two beautiful daughters, aged 17 and 19. My life has always been a whirlwind— a single mum for 16 years, working, studying, and looking after the kids. Here’s how this ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) has affected me in profound and unexpected ways.

The Worst Thing to Happen to Me

As someone who is naturally energetic and sociable, CFS completely disrupted my life. It halted my ability to socialise and stopped me from walking my dogs. Weekends, once filled with adventure, became solely for rest, as any significant activity required days of recovery.

Many people, including my mother, struggled to understand what I was going through or even acknowledge the illness was real and not in my head. This led to a loss of friendships and support, intensifying the loneliness and isolation I felt. I used to be fit and active, regularly salsa dancing and running, but CFS turned exercise into a daunting prospect. Even minimal physical activity could trigger a 'crash,' sometimes leaving me bed bound.

The brain fog and memory issues made work incredibly challenging. I often felt inadequate, struggling to keep pace and further isolating myself from the vibrant life I once knew. Now, my weeks consist of work and weekends reserved for recuperation, with socialising limited to once or twice a month—a stark contrast to my previous lifestyle. I had to dramatically adjust how I lived, learning to pace everything I did.

The Best Thing to Happen to Me

Despite the immense challenges, CFS has also brought about significant positive changes in my life. It compelled me to slow down and listen to my body, a practice previously missing from my life. I began prioritising self-care—something I neglected for years while focusing on my daughters’ needs. Ignoring my own needs played a part in the development of my condition. I embraced meditation, stress management, and gentle yoga, which have become essential in my new routine.

CFS taught me who truly matters in my life. With limited energy, I became selective about my social interactions, cultivating a more meaningful circle of friends. My condition sparked a desire to research and study effective self-care methods, igniting a passion for health and nutrition that eventually led me to pursue health and nutrition coaching.

Now, I have the privilege of helping other busy, rushing women make changes in their lives before they encounter similar health issues. The rise of autoimmune diseases among women in their mid-40s is concerning. As we navigate hormonal changes, we cannot continue living as we did in our 30s without consequences. Our bodies will demand attention.

The Turning Point

Determined to find answers, I took matters into my own hands when my GP told me there was nothing wrong with me, attributing my symptoms to my age, being a single mum, and possibly depression. After extensive research, I believed I had CFS and insisted my GP refer me to a specialist. In that first meeting, I received a confirmed diagnosis, which was validating after being minimized and unsupported by my GP due to their lack of knowledge about the condition.

The Struggle and the Search

I was resolute in my recovery. I tried everything I could think of - infrared light therapy, infrared sauna sessions, vitamin B12 shots, and bone broth. I saw naturopaths, Chinese doctors (for herbs and acupuncture), and psychologists. I tried floating in sensory deprivation tanks, learned self-Reiki, and listening to binaural beats. I read countless books by people who had healed from ME/CFS and incorporated their lifestyle changes. I listened to podcasts from health experts, fasting experts, and life hackers. I adopted a ketogenic diet, practised meditation, and learned about pacing, which ultimately led me to intermittent fasting (IF). Even though I started losing weight, my initial goal wasn't weight loss—it was healing.

Infrared light and sauna sessions became part of my routine, offering fleeting moments of relief. The B12 shots gave me brief bursts of energy, but they weren't the lasting solution I was hoping for. My exploration of bone broth and the ketogenic diet was a hopeful journey, while meditation calmed my mind - and ensured a positive and resilient mindset, and pacing taught me to manage my energy better.

The Covid-19 Setback

Then came the Covid-19 pandemic, which threw a massive wrench into my progress. I've always struggled with emotional eating, and during lockdowns, I gained over 20 kg. By the end of the pandemic, I had abandoned fasting. I found myself overweight, unhappy, and unhealthy, grappling with metabolic syndrome—obesity, high blood pressure, insulin resistance, and pre-diabetes—while my chronic fatigue symptoms worsened.

Lockdowns exacerbated my emotional eating issues. The stress and isolation made it challenging to maintain healthy habits, and I turned to food for comfort, leading to a vicious cycle of weight gain and deteriorating health.

A New Beginning

In November 2022, I reached a turning point. I decided enough was enough—I needed to regain control of my health. I wanted to avoid the potential long-term consequences of metabolic syndrome: diabetes, cancer, dementia, or heart disease. I returned to intermittent fasting, confident in the science backing its efficacy. Since then, I've been fasting daily.

Most days, I fast for 17-19 hours, eating within a 5-7 hour window. I keep it varied to maintain metabolic flexibility.

For those new to fasting, it may seem daunting, but you start slowly and let your body adapt. You become 'fat adapted,' using ketones for energy instead of sugar. In this state, hunger is manageable, and I prioritise nutrient-dense foods within my eating window.

The Role of Gut Health

In March 2023, I underwent a Faecal Microbial Transplant (FMT) in an attempt to address my CFS. While I experienced some benefits—losing 10 kg in two weeks due to fasting and whole foods—my kryptonite remained sugar, particularly chocolate and ice cream, which hindered my progress. Being insulin-resistant and perimenopausal added to the challenge.

The FMT was a pivotal moment, highlighting the significance of gut health. I shifted to a predominantly plant-based, whole food diet, incorporating fermented foods like homemade kombucha, sauerkraut, and kimchi. I eliminated processed foods where possible, though chocolate and ice cream remained temptations.

Overcoming Emotional Eating

In March 2024, I made substantial strides in managing my emotional eating. I learned to recognise sugar cravings as an emotional crutch and shifted my mindset around food. I started opting for raw and dark chocolate and switched to healthier snacks like nuts, fruit, Greek yoghurt, and homemade popcorn.

Understanding my emotional triggers was crucial. I practised mindfulness and 'urge surfing,' a technique used for addiction recovery. This involves recognising that cravings peak and then subside—it's about riding the waves and investigating the reasons behind the urge. I learned to ask myself: Am I hungry? No. Am I bored? No. Am I sad? Often, the answer was: Am I tired? YES. Would eating junk food provide energy? NO. Instead, I found solace in meditation, short walks, reading, or making a comforting cup of tea while cuddling my dogs.

A New Lease on Life

Now, I have more energy. I wake up feeling excited about my life, my sugar cravings have diminished, and I am more alert and focused. My journey isn't complete—the weight is gradually coming off, and I haven't reached remission with my CFS, but I remain optimistic.

My mornings now brim with a sense of renewal. I begin with a mindful activity, either meditation or Qi Gong to set the positive tone for the day. I remain in the fasted state all morning, energised and focused on my work. I break my fast each day around 1 pm with a nutritious meal. Throughout the day, I stay mindful of my hunger and fullness cues, eating intuitively and choosing nourishing foods. I usually finish eating with dinner around 6 pm, followed by my favourite dessert (greek yoghurt, nut butter, frozen berries and seeds) and close my eating window at 6.30 pm

Lessons Learned

I've learned that our bodies possess an incredible capacity for healing if we allow it. Intermittent fasting has been transformative, guiding me on a journey that reshaped my view of health. I will never take my well-being for granted again.

Intermittent fasting has taught me to respect my body through fasting, gut-friendly eating, slowing down, and savouring each moment. I meditate daily, finding joy in the small things. This approach has restored my intuitive eating habits, allowing me to reconnect with my hunger and satiety signals—something I previously overlooked.

The Best and Worst Thing About Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has been both the best and worst thing to happen to me. It presented immense challenges but also pushed me to reevaluate my life, seek solutions, and ultimately embrace a healthier, more balanced existence.

Today, I am grateful for my journey. It hasn't been easy, but it's been worthwhile. My body is healing, and I am on a path to wellness. If you find yourself facing similar struggles, remember that hope exists. Trust the process, be patient with yourself, and keep moving forward—the power to heal lies within you, waiting to be unleashed